How To Establish Your Needless Desires, Get Rid Of Them & Be Real In Life


We all have different desires in life and these include those we are proud of and those we are hiding for reasons such as shame, guilt and sanity.

However, if you are poked with the question; which of your desires is needless or which of them deserves to be gotten rid of, you may have great difficulty in establishing this.

In fact, if you cannot be real in life to the people around you and you are hiding certain desires from them, you got to push those desires out the window-they fall within the needless desires.

Any desire that burdens your mind with the weight of guilt must be gotten rid of. You have to keep a desire only if you can openly discuss it with the people around you or the people that matter to you.

Now sit down and think about some of the desires you have in life and see if you can freely write about it on your face book, your twitter or tell your girlfriend, family or friends about them?

For instance, I have the desire to travel around the world and I am keeping that desire because I can openly discuss it with anyone.

If you have a desire to have sex with your girlfriend’s friend or sister, can you write that on your facebook or discuss it with your girlfriend? If it will be shameful and disgusting to do so (hence you cannot), then such a desire is needless, you must get rid of it.

If you do not want to live your life in hiding, you must be ready to accept the consequence of your desire. If you fear the outcome and would not be able to stick your chest out for your desire, that desire is effectively needless in your life.

Can you tell your partner about your sexual desires? Do you want to have an orgy or threesome with your partner’s best friend(s)?

This may seem like a useless/needless desire but it is not so if you can discuss it with your partner. If you can openly and sincerely tweet a message saying ‘I want to have an orgy with my partners friends’ without guilt and shame, then that desire is very relevant to your happiness.

Do not get me wrong on your ability to openly discuss your desire and using that as the measuring rode to eradicate or hold unto desires.  I do recognise that you would have people attacking you or throwing words at you when you openly discuss your desires.

The moment that happens, you will have to evaluate the concerns raised by these people and try to faithfully address the concerns. If you can satisfactorily do so (despite the uproar), that desire still remains relevant and should be pursuit.

Remember your desires are different from my desires…If you are a single man and you desire to sleep with a prostitute; try to establish if such a desire is relevant by considering the elements of shame and guilt.

There is nothing wrong with paying someone (adult in agreement) to have fun as part of your desires as long as you do not have to hide it (being fake about it); feel guilty or shameful about it.

However, the moment you can’t do so without guilt, shame and hiding it, then you have to realize that that desire is needless. The reason why you feel guilty, shameful or you have to hide it is because your inner being is aware of how needless it is to your existence and well being.

In order to let people see the real you, you must be able to publicly outline your desires. They do not have to agree with you but the fact that you can openly do it or discuss it is a journey to living your desires. Don’t expect people to agree to all your desires because they are yours and not theirs.

However, when you (inner being) do not agree with it which can be establishing by considering the accompanying guilt and shame, then you got to get rid of it.

Do you have the desire to masturbate? Remember the initial ground is, there is nothing wrong with your desires. It only becomes needless if you cannot publicly discuss it or let the people around you know about it-if you have to hide it…

What are some of your desires? Based on the above, do you think they are all relevant?

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Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, Esq
I am a Hedonist, Contrarian, Traveller, Lawyer, Atheist, Thinker, Writer, Minimalist & a Professional Truth Sayer.


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  1. Well it’s not what I thought the article would be about lol….I think I do understand what the article is saying. Though I guess it would really need much discipline as the desires with have are not without reason or purpose, even if they are bad. I just feel that most of our desires are taboo because they can be overpowering and difficult to ignore. Well it certainly got me thinking (not about paying someone for fun lol) but i’m just thinkin’ about what I desire and if I could do without them.

    1. Surely, you can do without those desires you do not need. There are many things we do not really need but when we think about them, we see no way of getting rid of them. However, when they are eliminated, either we would feel no effect or little effect. In order to enjoy life, we must all discipline ourselves and work towards the eradication of our needless desires.