It’s Highly Dangerous Not to Help Others

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My recent readings have been focused on improving oneself and helping to elevate the floor of the people around you.

I’ve heard arguments in Ghana that some capable or rich people fail to equip those surrounding them simply because they prefer these people to always “glory” them as their Messiah—as the person who hands out tokens or crumbs to them day in and day out.

Helping Others

I am of the view that it is dangerous to be surrounded by people who are heavily dependent on you. What is the fun of you having to always pay for things or to provide for everything? Why don’t you liberate people or set them up so they can fend for themselves?

Holding people hostage and erroneously assuming that they are loyal to you or love you is absurd.

The real measure or test of loyalty and love should take place when the person has real options or is wholly independent.

For this reason, I believe a man must elevate his partner/woman to a standard where she does not need him anymore (financially or otherwise) and it is from this stage that you can ascertain a partner’s true “colours.” People should want you (option) and not need you.

People will do everything to eat, therefore, you are likely to get false readings when you measure the loyalty and love of a hungry person when their food is in your hands.

Imagine leaving in a community where no one has access to water except you. Don’t you think one day, some members of the community will rob you or break into your house and probably kill you for that pipe that only you have and occasionally grant them access?

The above is how a lot of rich and capable people live in Africa. They want to remain at the top by keeping everyone around them in servitude. Anarchy will surely befall such an economic, social, and political set-up.

This same concept, albeit silent, is explored in many relationships in Africa. That is, have a hold over your partner to keep her or him in the relationship forever. This is the sort of relationship a lot of Slay Queens or ordinary women are in with their “masters/partners”.

The men will always want to pay the rent as that will be required each year or two but they wouldn’t equip you to become independent so you can pay your own bills/rent. As that will mean, you would be able to decide if you want to be with them or not—after all, you do not need them for rent and other things.

If you are dating out of your league, bring the person to your league—and then watch them love you or be loyal to you in honesty. If after they are up there, they decide to leave or “misbehave”, wish them well and move on with your life.

While helping people around you, do not forget to also make the best out of yourself. You can escape people by relocating or finding new friends and partners. But you cannot escape yourself. You will constantly have to be with yourself and therefore if you are inherently toxic, dirty, stupid, or obtuse, you wouldn’t enjoy your own company and you cannot run away from it.

I regularly spend time reflecting on life. During this period, I take my mind back to how beautifully I have lived, the challenges I have had to overcome and the self-improvement I have seen. I know I cannot escape these thoughts and therefore I make a conscious effort to create more and more beautiful thoughts and experiences.


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Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, Esq
I am Chris-Vincent Agyapong Febiri, a Lawyer, a Thinker, a Minimalist, a Writer, and something like a Legal Polymath based in the United Kingdom.