If all your friends are losers, it is highly likely you are a loser too—just that, you wouldn’t admit it. And if your friends are high achievers, you are probably one too—or gravitating towards that.
Making friends should be deliberate because your friends are your future. Apart from that, the people you spend a lot of time with should be able to have a meaningful impact on your life—the way you think and the way you see things.
I struggle to be friends with shallow people, no matter how hard I try. Even if nothing is wrong with being shallow—I am used to people who ask questions, critical and deep thinkers. Therefore, I am always at odds when I have to suddenly switch to a different class. The conversation becomes a chore when it should naturally flow.
Similarly, I am at my best when the person I am engaging with is somewhat well educated. It saves both of us a lot of time in having to spell everything out—or missing the nuances of points made during a conversation.
For instance, it will be highly tedious for me to discuss ontology with someone who does not even know about the “big bang.” So imagine how it would be if all my friends are ignorant at this level and I have to regularly discuss God and being, with them?
A lot of us have friends who do not deserve us. But then, we cannot also leave them dry. You do not necessarily have to cut off friends because they are losers—you can keep the losers, but you need to balance it or overwhelm their presence with non-losers, to ensure that you receive great influence from the non-losers.
If you are spending 5 hours a week with friends who only gossip and talk about nonsense (with no ambition), why don’t you divide that time into two—and spend half of it finding new friends who are ambitious and would drive you positively to your goal?
Making friends demands a lot of work. Making great friends is an art—and you must know how to pull them in by baiting them with something they are also interested in it. The elephant would not want to be friends with the mouse—probably because, they do not have anything common interest. Bill Gates wouldn’t want you as a friend even if you met him today, because you have nothing in common.
Evaluate your friends’ list and ask yourself this: what value are you getting from the people you spend so much time with? If your friends are indeed your future—are you comfortable with the future you see?
Is there someone out there you want to have as a friend? Ask yourself why—and then start working on making that happen. You can simply find out about the person’s interest and use social media to attempt to engage them. Slowly, you may build a friendship.
Don’t be stuck with losers, if you want more than being part of the losing party in life.