My Random Thoughts! Love, Life & Mistakes

Life

I like to think of myself as loyal but not blind, interesting but not clueless, loving but not witless, persistent but not obtuse.

And even though I am liberal, I’ve never made conservatism a taboo.

Changing has never been my problem, finding a reason to institute a change is mostly the difficult bit. I like to be convinced but a lot of people can’t push for it.

It may take a lot of energy to define a path with me but once on it, nothing can lead me astray. Such is the degree of loyalty which some confuse for rigidness.

I may have spent 4 years in a college studying a subject I later realised had no position in my future interest, but I wouldn’t dare trade my experience for anything else.

I can make good arguments as to why there is the need to love but I have never succeeded in convincing anyone as to why they should not let love go. There has never been a need for it though, because they eventually figure it out—mostly when it’s too late and their faces are full of regrets.

Though I do not consider philosophy as an academic discipline worth spending my time and money on formally, I spend the greatest part of my life studying this. And since money and time cannot be separated, a chunk of my money therefore goes in there too.

My biggest mistake in life is the automatic application of reason to everything—forgetting that, certain structures stay outside the boundaries of reason. I don’t think I need to mention women and love as the common examples.

I have had my fair share of evaluating the importance of the words before or after a person’s name—and have debated for and against the prefix motion. But it took the words of that special person to let me know that, what matters is the impact of those words, not where they fall on the name board. Read more

Smart Phones Are Indeed Getting the Best of Our Human Relationships

Last week, I was at ITV studios in London as one of the many Londoners who made up a rousing audience for ‘The Jonathan Ross Show’.

Apart from the excitement that filled the auditorium when actor-Liam Neeson, Peter Andre, Oscar Award winner-Goldie Hawn and Danny Dyer were drilled by Ross, I left the recording of the Show with more than a great performance from Pixie Lott.

During one of the interviews, Jonathan Ross talked about how many of us cannot let go our smart phones, even when we are at dinners with friends or family. Interestingly, he pointed himself out as one of such people who cannot let go their phones—even for few minutes.

The guest on the Show at the time-Danny Dyer quickly noted that ‘our smart phones’ are taking over our relationships. He added that, because many people are unable to leave their smart phones for more than 30 minutes; his friends have come out with this ‘troubling idea’ of collecting all phones and putting them on a table when they go out for dinners or drinks. And that, whoever picks his phone first from the table pays the bill of the evening …

Jonathan Ross jumped in to say, he would have to always pay the bill if he was in the circle since he can’t let his phone off his sight—something the Mrs detest.

My point is; if you thought you were the only person who has noticed how people are glued to their phones, paving way for technology to define our relationships, then you are wrong—most people are aware of this just that they cannot seem to let go the bad habit.

Even if a person is able to force himself to disconnect from his mobile phone, you will catch see the same person scrolling through things on the ipad.

It seems we’ve ditched our sense of belonging, relegating the essence of personal interactions and relationships to the background. Instead of using technology to strengthen our human interactions and relationships, technology has taken over.

Like most people, I check my mobile phone every 20-30 minutes and even when asked to turn it off at certain places like the Cinema, I put it on silent rather. We do not disconnect from our gadgets and this is gradually stealing the best of human interactions we ought to have.

Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, the first thing I reach out for is my phone, and I know I am the only person who does this.

As I stated in my article titled-Are You Losing Yourself To Robots? Get A Real Life With The Real World…; “No one seems to care about expressing real love with real world things anymore. I have kissed my girlfriend more times with smileys and emoticons than I have in real life. I think I have even said I love her more with technology than I have actually told her in person.”

Like many others, I recognise how my smart phone is getting all the attention, but do I have the WILL to disconnect from it when necessary—so I can build real human relationship with those who matter?

I’ve seen several couples seated around dinner tables and instead of having real time conversations; they will be on their phones…With everyone hooked to their smart phones, what is the future of real human interactions and relationships?

The Illusion of Love, the Reality of Hate!

Throughout my existence, I’ve come across people who do not believe in love. These people cannot have the slightest space in their minds and hearts to believe that love is real, let alone attempting to find or give out one.

To such people, love is an illusion being championed by a multitude of disappointed individuals who find comfort in reassuring themselves that love is the greatest, that conquers all.

Like other things, this class of cynics are of the mind-set that love is an illusion and there is no need to encourage it.

Even if they’ve never experienced love before or cannot measure the genuineness of what people may express as love for them, have they not come in contact with HATE before?

Ironically, the disbelief in love does not stretch to HATE—such people have seen HATE at work and they have every reason to believe it is real. And yet, forget to see the beauty, order and calmness embedded in love… Read more

Chronicles Of Chris-Vincent: Why I Got A Dirty Slap From A Female Friend Last Year!

6 Things Women HATE So Much, Don’t Ever Say It To Them

I have experienced them all…I have said them all to different women on different occasions and the reactions were all the same-they wanted to either kick me in the balls, stab me, call me a punk or never talk to me again…

As a man, never say these things to any woman if you do not want to offend them or do not want to be slapped in public.

1. Don’t Ever Ask If She Is Pregnant

What is the big deal if a woman is pregnant…right? Going to a woman to ask; oh when are you due or when is the baby coming can be extensively rude, especially when the woman is not pregnant as you think.

These days, we have several women with bellies matching that of pregnant women. The fact that a woman has somehow a big stomach does not necessary mean she is pregnant. It could be anything.

Even if you are 100% sure that she is pregnant (huge 8 months belly), just keep it to yourself until she mentions it to you. Avoid any comment that will suggest a woman is pregnant.

2. Avoid Calling Them Honey, Darling, Sweety, Sweetheart, ETC

Unless a woman is your girlfriend, wife, mother, sister or a very close friend, never throw the above words at them. Do not go about thinking women love to be sweet talked into things by calling every woman you meet on the street-darling, baby, sweetheart or honey.

Do not walk into a shop and start saying; honey how much is the shirt? Simply say, excuse me, how much is the shirt…That way, you will leave the shop smiling!

3. Don’t Ask Or Suggest A Woman’s Age

Age is a mere number but to women, it is their greatest secret and they will only let you know when they want to. Several women are embarrassed about their age (old or young) and as such, asking them their age makes them feel uncomfortable.

Do not be cunning by suggesting how old you think they are. They hate that more. Simple leave their ages to them and let them tell you when they want to. Unless absolutely necessary, avoid discussing age with women.

You never know what will hurt them when it comes to age. You may think you are going to compliment them by saying; oh I thought you were younger or I thought you were older, but you will end up embarrassing them.

4. Never Say To A Woman-Bytch, Hoe, C*unt, ETC

You may see some women happily dancing to songs calling them the above names in certain urban videos. Remember this is just a video and these women are only happily dancing to the money they are going to get, not the name calling.

Women find these words extensively bad and disrespectful. The fact that you hear the words being used in most rap music does not mean, they are acceptable to women.

If you do not want to be ‘gang slapped’ by women, stay away from these offensive words.

It can even go beyond just receiving some slaps; you can be sued for this or be fired from work if you go about calling women bytches, etc.

5. Do Not Say ‘For A Woman, You Do This So Well’

Everybody likes a compliment but make sure you are giving a compliment since most people confuse this with stereotyping.

I once said to a friend who was giving me a lift; for a woman, you drive very well. And the next minute, I was walking to catch the bus. She threw me out of her car…

I could have simply said; you drive very well.

Suggesting that, women are bad at things and a particular woman is an exception may seem like a compliment but most women see that as stereotyping.

Remember, what men can do, women can do best. No need to condone the premise that ‘women are inferior’ and try to elevate it with the conclusion ‘this one is different or special’.

6. Never Comment About A Woman’s Weight

It may be obvious and shining like the sun, still you have to stay away from affirming it. If a woman looks fat, leave it to her. She definitely has a mirror or other female friends who will know how to tell her in the best way.

Saying or suggesting a woman has gained weight or lost weight (if not your job) can be embarrassing to them. If you cherish the person, then close your eye to her body index.

Do not attempt the stupid “buying toothpaste for someone who has a smelling mouth” game, it will backfire with women. Avoid any action, omission or the use of innuendos which will indirectly target a woman’s weight issue because she will quickly know what you are about.

From your experience, what can you add to the above? What do you think one must avoid saying to women in order to be in their good books?